Bivalve mollusks of the family Ostreidae

Or simply put, Oysters, Oysters, Oysters… and tons of them.

Last night Jax hosted a huge oyster eating contest and the place was packed. First of all you have to know that this wonderful event was to benefit New Orleans and to provide some assistance for the oyster industry devastation there. So every time a customer (of which there were many) ordered oysters (of which there were even more) the proceeds went to good cause. So of course we helped out the best we could. Crowds of people came into Jax and their drink of choice was the Martini. There were Martinis of every color and combination from wall to wall. The bar itself looked like a martini lineup as they cooled with ice waiting to be filled.

I wish I could tell you I was hip enough to know this was going on, but the truth is far simpler. We merely got a late start to going out and decided a few oysters would be a good start. Well we definitely picked the spot in Denver to be last night. Unfortunately all we had was my cell phone camera which worked just fine to capture the moment.
So back to my story. First the crowd starts getting into the mood for the competition with these tasty martinis. Then one side of the bar got cleared out for the competition. There were a total of 8 teams competing in this oyster eating competition and the kitchen had to be overflowing with the mollusks. Tray after tray of oysters began to arrive in the competitors bar seats, huge trays overflowing with delicious oysters and glistening in the lights of the bar.

Then the competitors lined up and prepped their trays. One competitor splashed water across their tray to dilute the brine. Others added tabasco and lemon to season them up. The oysters are brought out from Houma Louisiana, and the owner of Motivated Seafood, Paul Packer, describes them as not pasteurized but pressure washed with enough force to shuck them from their shells, kill any little buggers of bacteria, and remove the brine but not enough to break their skin. The result is a true boatload of oysters that you can eat without getting sick, although it also removes alot of the brine and taste rendering them a bit bland. Which is fine by me because I consider myself the biggest oyster fan, but I don’t think I could handle the sight of those little suckers coming back for an encore. And I am pretty sure that it is fine by the competitors who are eating them by the fist full.

The next step is the competition itself. The competitors are lined up and they handle it as a team relay shoveling the oysters into their mouth as fast as the can. Slurping, swallowing, drooling out oyster bits and goo the competitors dig in. The fans are screaming in excitement and my seat was near the fans from the Pacific Highlands team. One team member, armed with one of the coolest tatoos I have seen (Yes that is the Morton Salt Girl), points out their team members and I watch as they devour oyster faster than anyone else. I also get pointed towards one dude who is drinking the oyster like water. Apparently his name is Guido and he is the world record holders for single (versus team relay) oyster eating (127 oysters in 90 seconds). This oyster eating machine doesn’t mess around. He is also doing a solo competition this weekend somewhere (find out and go) where he is the favorite to win.

Two rounds of competitors go through this spectacular feeding frenzy. The crowd roars them on while eating their own oysters and downing their martinis. Given only limited time (I think it was mere seconds per person, 4 people per team) the number of oysters the teams consume is amazing.

In the end, the victory belonged to Highland Pacific, which had become my team as well since I was in their cheering section and they were all good peeps. The results were…

• 3rd Place: NE Seafood with 99 oysters
• 2nd Place: Team Huffers with 101 oysters
• 1st Place: Highland Pacific with 110 oysters

What a fun event and it benefits the Louisiana Oyster Community Relief Fund. So check out their calendar and go to the next one. Where else can you have so much fun for such a good cause.